Thursday, January 22, 2009

I Don't Even Know You But I Hate You

The above is the opening line to "Love is Blind", by Eve, one of the very few hip hop songs to ever address domestic violence from a woman's perspective. But domestic violence is all a woman's fault anyway. Oh yes. The Internet has taught me much. When my pregnant mother forgot to cut my inebriated fathers grilled cheese sandwich before serving it to him, and he proceeded to punch her so hard her head hit a wall and momentarily knocked her out? Totally on my mom.

I'd like to thank sites like these for opening my mind. Blogspot isn't just for maintaining a daily blog; you can get your own domain and use it to display your overly-illustrated philosophy as well. But fear not, dot-coms dedicated to hatred and fear-mongering still thrive.

It's difficult to reconcile your place in society when you take in what people like this are saying and realize that while much of it is applicable to many women, it's still akin to taking a paint roller to a Cezanne. It's galling when you read the complaints these men have about your peers and realize that the vast majority of them do not describe you. It's horrifying that your counterparts in humanity think they know you so well that any protestations would be sniffed at as classic self-denial.

It is chilling to be looked down upon--at the worst, hated--for something I am not. For something I never was. For something I will never be.

"Feminism" should be stricken from the record as a word used to describe anything. Apologies to any otherwise like-minded people, but it has done more harm than good as a concept. Identifying the struggle to be treated with decency and respect with a single word demeaned the movement from the start, as any woman with a mind of her own is instantly described as a "feminist" and all the negative connotations of that term automatically come to define her to others.

The only way that "feminism" could ever make any difference these days is for people--not just women--to take the fundamental precept to heart: that a woman, if she so desires, can be more than her ascribed role. Going beyond that, she can also be more within her ascribed role. It's nothing to expect applause or privilege for; it is a way of life. A bisexual female writer and a devoted wife and mother of three are both human beings, and should be free of easy diagnosis by bitter, spiteful "philosophers".

Let's look at the American Women Suck site. They have a top 10 to explain why we suck, which is awful handy.

1) Selfish - to the point where they don't know the difference between love of self and plain downright greed--and drilled into believing that whatever happens is the fault of whatever man is in their life because of the feminist crud drilled into them by the cadre of asexual closet cases called "therapists" who appear on "Ricki", "Oprah" or other such electronic drivel.

I know women like this; I've seen those "Real Housewives" commercials. And my therapist doesn't talk smack about dudes, he is a dude, and I owe my treatment my sanity. Also, fuck Borpo.

2) Deluded - into thinking they "deserve" a rich, model-handsome husband who will "take them away from all of this"--whatever the "this" might be--and leading to resentment when they discover that the universe does NOT revolve around them.

I don't want a husband. I support myself.

3) Angry - ALL the damn time about things which are so far out of their control as to be nonsensical--and constantly wanting to "discuss" this mind numbing drivel ad nauseam.

I do admit this fits.

4) Psychotic - multiple personalities in the same woman - as "Nomad" put it in the "Star Trek" episode: "Woman...a mass of inconsistencies...", and also when the feminist voices in their heads start with the regrets and victim acculturation.

Quoting Star's the new quoting Nietzsche.

5) Worthless - anything that does not immediately resolve itself in her favor or to her benefit is meaningless to her, especially husband and family.

Does this not describe a lot of men too?

6) Lazy - drilled into their head that they "deserve" a maid, nanny and personal slave to take care of every detail - and that their husband/boyfriend is REQUIRED to cater to their each and every mindless whim.

My parents had six daughters, and they raised every one of us to work work work and expect no one to raise a hand in assistance. And if anyone did, politely decline and continue with your work. None of us girls were treated like unassailable princesses who should expect to be saved by a classic knight-on-steed. None of us were raised to ask for handouts, or to expect them. As women now, one of us runs a business, another works for her, another has a state job (with nothing but other women in her office), and the rest? Work work work. One toils harder than ever since her husband of 24 years abandoned her. She has more heart, soul and guts than any motherfucker who starts multiple goddamn blogs to bitch about 50% of the country's population. That's not anger speaking there; that's just bottom line truth.

7) Resentful - especially of other women who have things that they do not, in material, spiritual and esoteric senses.

I don't worry about what other women have if what they have makes them truly fulfilled. The only women I truly resent are the ones who match these stereotypes, making it easy to pigeonhole the rest of the gender.

8) Greedy - to them, "housekeeping" means getting the house in the divorce (thanks to Zsa Zsa for that immortal line) and sucking the guy for every last cent, even if they had nothing to do with the building of the nest egg.

Your marriage speak means nothing to me. Seriously, are lesbians then to be understood as the highest form of female? 'Cause all this stuff is just attacking straight women, it seems.

9) Mindless - constant, irritating, idle prattle about topics they read about in some women's magazine and then become instant experts--particularly pop psychology and the latest crap they see on "Oprah" or "Ricki".

I read books without pictures and peruse Internet sites. I also do this new thing called talking to people to gain new perspectives.

10) Vain - believing that they are irresistible to everything in pants and therefore are allowed to behave sluttish and without any honor.

Nope, doesn't fit me. Not even remotely close.

For the other women, the ones who do match up with these descriptions...I feel sorry for them. Almost as sorry as I feel for the creators of all these websites, for not being able to see beyond them.


  1. amazing post, so much that needed to be said

  2. "It's horrifying that your counterparts in humanity think they know you so well that any protestations would be sniffed at as classic self-denial."

    This statement is so true for me. His definition of me is the only "right" one. Any time I deviate from what he thinks I am, he gets angry because it challenges HIS sense of reality.

    He "makes me pay" for my transgression through various types of abuse.