She's a Good Skate, Charlie Brown

AIRDATE: 2/25/80

STORY: The first Peanuts special of the new decade wastes no time heralding the creative teams determination to explore within a fine-tuned formula. Just two years prior, What a Nightmare, Charlie Brown eliminated every kid on the block bar Chuck as it immersed the willing viewer on a wordless Call of the Wild. The opening moments of She's a Good Skate feature a sleek, delicate figure skating routine set to an even more precious orchestral backing. The young girl's clothes blend with the nascent morning sky. While her moves practically sing, her stubborn, steely coach is a ball of hyper-perceptive judgment on the sidelines. Regardless, his pupil has a refreshingly pragmatic understanding of her mentors grumpified airs. She knows that both of them are chasing one goal: an ice-skating championship trophy.

While it may seem odd that Peppermint Patty should enter a competition requiring grace of movement and the wearing of a dress, it really isn't. The desire to play and win is strong within her, and she will do whatever it takes to be a champion--even waking up at 4:30 AM to take cantankerous instruction from a dog, a training plan with obvious benefits (perfecting her routine) and detriments (falling asleep in class).

Patty never frazzles beyond the point of no return, although the pitfalls are considerable: hockey brutes on "her" pond, last-minute fretting over a suitable outfit, a mishap with the cassette player at the venue on the day of competition. Her patience and resolve pay off as she cops the trophy. Which rather looks like an Emmy with the globe ripped off and the ladys wings pulled back and twisted with industrial strength pliers. 10

ANIMATION: Linus has his security blanket, the very same that gave the world that term in the first place. It has come to indicate anything (or anyone) that provides solace that permeates beyond the physical comfort. The animation of this show is much like a security blanket for the story. The colors are season-appropriate; the children are drawn masterfully, not one stroke gone awry. Their actions and reactions are as "sensible" as one dare use such a word when discussing a cartoon. 10

MUSIC: Ed Bogas and Judy Munsen were like the Gerry Goffin/Carole King of childrens show music, except they weren't. As with any Peanuts special that they helmed the pit for, the sounds are very of their time, the playing and arrangements almost always competent but almost never spectacular, the exceptions coming when the instrumentation gets far too "busy" for such a steadily-paced program. 8.5

VOICES: Oh, this here is funky. Not Ohio Players circa Honey funky, or even armpits that smell like the dumpster out back of a Turkish restaurant funky. I mean more like seeing a snowman in the summertime. Or listening to--and I mean really listening to--a Big & Rich song.

Peppermint Patty and Marcie get the bulk of the lines here, with a brief pipe from their mutual crush (Lucy, Linus, Sally, and Schroeder are all shown in the audience cheering Patty on but do not speak). Despite having the greatest possible name anyone voicing Peppermint Patty could have, Patricia Patts only gets a 9. She's fine, but the bar is high. Blame Linda Ercoli and Gail DeFaria for that. Casey Carlson knocks it out of the park as Marcie, with just the right mixture of wit, concern, and pinheadedness. 10

The hockey bully is straight out of Race For Your Life...not really complaining. 9

Oh wait, I forgot some other speaking roles. No I didn't.

No I didn't.

IF SHE NAILS THAT LUTZ, I'M GONNA PLOTZ

--No one ever accused Peppermint Patty of especial creativity in confrontation. She'll just generally utter some playground insult and knock yer block off. Standing up to the hockey bullies, she gets off one of the best namecalls I've ever heard: "Get lost, neckhead!" Neckhead? Does that mean a head like a neck, or that your neck is bigger than your head? It's brilliant either way, one of those exclamations that will send the target reeling mentally as he or she tries to figure out if they should feel insulted and if so, exactly how insulted they should feel.

--No one ever accused Peppermint Patty of having a reasonable sense of self-worth. The night before the competition she freaks out over needing a dress sewn up, a task Marcie takes on, fails horribly at, then of course is completed to OTT perfection by Snoopy. She also complains that her hairstyle needs a Higgins, because it is so "mousey-blah". The way she runs that phrase together makes it sound French.

--No one ever accused producers of getting it right the first time. The initial name of this special was "She's a Winner, Charlie Brown", until someone surely realized that the word "winner" and the name "Charlie Brown" not only do not go together, they have a rather cobra vs. mongoose relation to one another. Gotta love, also, the very Schulzian ring "She's a good skate". Not a good skater, mind you. How friggin' Minnesota.

--Unlike Lisa Simpson, Patricia Reichardt has no beef with Vassar.

--Patty's superbly fluid skating sequences were done with the relative magic of rotoscoping, a technique that would be revisited on the unsung classic It's Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown. (The model in this case was Amy Schulz.)

--"Even the ice is still asleep at 4:30." I fucking love you, Marcie.

--Snoopy Fassi. "I'll show you how to do this."

--Someone switched Snoopy's tape of Illmatic with Electric Youth.

--When Patty's tape gets mangled and disqualification looms, a quick-on-his-wings Woodstock takes to the mic and whistles out a grand accompaniment for a prize-winning glide around the rink: "O Mio Babbino Caro", a piece from Puccini's opera Gianni Schicchi. Just proving yet again that where there's a will, there's a way to write yourself into it. Not content to wing it--holy shit I'm hilarious--Schulz and friends got a pro to deliver this command performance: professional whistler Jason Serinus. Try writing that on a tax return sometime under "occupation".

I DISLIKE OLYMPIC ATHLETES WHO WHINE OVER WINNING SILVER AND BRONZE MEDALS. AT LEAST IT'S A MEDAL! SERIOUSLY, THE FOURTH PLACE FINISHER WOULD PERFORM ORAL FAVORS ON A FARM ANIMAL TO GET THAT BRONZE FROM YOU.

--I have one problem with Good Skate, but it's not insignificant. Adult voices can be heard in this special. Speaking clearly, not that "wah wah" stuff. Lucid, perfectly enunciated, bizarro Jimmy Onishi English. There's the teacher, a store employee and finally the emcee at the event. Unfathomable. Focusing a show on a so-called "second tier" character is an unorthodox choice that works, much like I Want a Dog For Christmas 23 years later. The decision to interject grown up voices into the special is the only blemish on the whole 25 minutes, but it's one that's an absolute bitch to treat. I still cringe a little when I hear them.

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Patricia Reichardt is an odd duck in the (sometimes frozen) pond. She has Charlie Brown's desire to be loved, Linus' faith, Lucy's temper, Snoopy's hope. She lacks Charlie Brown's athletic ineptitude, Linus' intellectualism, Lucy's girlishness, and Snoopy's luck in landing a taciturn best friend. She rocks striped shorts and shirts, hippie chick sandals, and freckles that dot her face like sunspots. Her hair is unmanageable; her voice is a ball of bubble wrap being lovingly prepared for popping by a pair of mischievous hands. She has two nicknames: one that everyone calls her and one that only one person calls her. As irrelevant as parents are in the Peanuts galaxy, at least the other kids have a complete set of them. Patty only has her father, a man given to spoil his only child in both material and emotional ways. Almost everything about her musses up the tidy neurotic world of Charlie Brown and friends. She's swaggering, brash, a be-all to-all tomboy who worries about calories only after she's eaten the meal.

But to type her as a young girl of negligible feminity is to ignore the deep-seated yearnings inherent in any females soul. She's a Good Skate opened up a new drawer, the one at the bottom of the dresser that practically no one gets around to using. From it was pulled the desire to be a beautiful, desirous young lady that exists uneasily alongside the drive to succeed in areas not traditionally considered appropriate for girls (that would be the contents of the top drawer). Patty will always value a no-hitter over a triple axle...but she's too interested and interesting to not try both.

Some of the latterly Peanuts specials had critics and fans scratching their heads off premises alone: a Flashdance take off? Snoopy's nightmare? Linus at a birthday party? With Good Skate, the inspiration could not get more pure. In the following links, you will find the series of 27 daily strips from November 4th to December 7th, 1974 that detail Patty's journey from the cold and lonely pond out back to the world of competitive skating (one of the longest runs in the history of the strip, showing how much Charles Schulz loved writing for the character).

You will note some key omissions as you read. For instance, in the very first strip, Patty makes the ultimate testament for the worth of Title IX; she also makes a brief, wistful reference to her absent mother; and finds time to zing the NHL.

Of course, as you progress from one strip to the next you will notice key twists that simply couldn't fit within the limited TV time the producers had, which just makes the panels that more special. It would have been delightful to see Marcie stammer and faint from her own sweethearted prudishness, for one; however, for those of us lucky enough to partake of the immaculate panels as hungrily as we do of the made-for-box moving pictures, we can consider these moments our own little secret. Especially the real conclusion of the story.

Enjoy the rest; number 337 ranks on my top 20 favorite Peanuts dailies.

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Charlie Brown Snoopy Peanuts

What A Nightmare, Charlie Brown

AIRDATE: 2/23/78

This author's nightmares are free of splatterfest horrifics--no buckets o' blood, no miscreations, no death whatsoever. My dreadful visions reek of familiarity, hitting close to heart and home, a subconscious naturalism drenching the stuttering proceedings until I awaken with a blunt sense of horror still striking a pose in my brain.

It was my most recent nocturnal fright (combined with the season) that inspired this review. Much like Snoopy, my nightmare was birthed from intestinal discomfort. Our ghastly forced fantasies also shared a menacing adult male figure (although mine was fully visible).

My mother and I watched breathlessly from the far end of the upstairs hallway as a mustachioed man in his early 40s with circular specs and a pedo hairchop emerged from the bathroom. He walked towards us. Unusually in my experiences, the entire sequence unfolded in black and white. A .38 caliber pistol gleamed whitest of all in his hand; his smile suggested the ceaseless joy of a new father as he waved it around. Mere inches from us, he finally took aim.

Instinctively I reached out and clutched the weapon. The wrestling of our hands forced the gun upward. I waited for a report that never came. No blast, no blaze. Finally, the man's face fell in anguish and he placed the barrel of the gun into his mouth. I heard myself speak the first and only words of this dream: "Do it, then, do it!" Which turned out to be a bad move on my part, as encouragement to abandon his shell for the great unknown seemed to galvanize the bastard. The fact that a person so wanted him dead seemed to give him a reason to live--and to kill.

He jerked his head up with the frightening speed of a triggered trap snap and began fighting me anew, eyes set in a clairvoyant glare. And then...nothing more.

STORY: Snow blankets the neighborhood, and Charlie Brown wants to go sledding with Snoopy. The world famous beagle would much rather sleep, especially when he realizes that his owner expects him to do all the work. Repeated attempts to convince Snoopy how awesome it would be to pull him through the snow result in Charlie Brown harnessed up at the mercy of the whip.

A smugly satisfied Snoopy unwinds with dinner: five pepperoni and onion pizzas and an egg creme to wash it all back. All the while, Charlie Brown bemoans his plight: "You're an overly civilized dog, Snoopy", he admonishes, hearkening back to his earlier statement that if Snoopy lived in the Great White North, he'd be part of a pack expected to travel great distances under duress, with no time or room for sleeping all day or fighting in a World War.

Snoopy is thoroughly nonplussed, and heads off to bed. Almost instantly, his tummy reacts naturally to the speedy consumption of food and the discomfort travels throughout his system until it shocks his brain into a nightmare, the jolt jarring loose the part of his brain that actually retains what the round-headed kid says.

Suddenly, a large menacing shadow appears and whips Snoopy off the doghouse and into the brutal Alaskan winter. He is harnessed and placed amid a pack of Huskies. The facts of his size and breed do not matter; he is a dog, and thus must do his job.

The climate and workload are rough enough for the pampered beagle; the rancorous isolation he is forced into by his unaccommodating packmates almost breaks Snoopy's spirit completely. He seeks escape and almost finds it when the driver stops at a saloon. Typical Snoonanigans ensue, but ultimately he's out set out on his ass and back in the pack.

At the next rest stop, Snoopy has resigned himself to fate. Instead of letting the bigger, meaner dogs bully him away from the fish and water, he bares his teeth and ruffles his fur to show them he can hang and bang. When it comes time to hit the trail again, Snoopy places himself in the position of lead dog and dares challengers to approach. With the littlest beagle that could leading the charge, the journey continues.

Snoopy's triumph is short-lived; a daring dash across a frozen body of water is not ballsy or quick enough to elude the cracking ice. Down into the frigid waters go the man and his Huskies. Snoopy tries harder than he knows how to pull them up, but inevitably must abandon the hero role and concentrate on saving his own hide. Just as his anguished cries give way, the nightmare ends.

A feverish pantomime to Charlie Brown and lovingly-prepared chocolate fudge sundae later, Snoopy is finally able to rest peacefully. He is no wiser. He's your dog, Charlie Brown. 9

MUSIC: This is when Ed Bogas and Judy Munsen were not confident enough to completely abandon what made Peanuts music so effective. The 1920s style harmonica-heavy soundtrack needs to work from the jump, as over 90% of the show is dialogue-free. Thankfully, the moods set by the music are appropriately realized and placed. 8. Also, how remiss would your girl be if she didn't give love to "Overlycivilized, Underlydogified Dog" as sung by Larry Finalyson? "Bring out the boowwls! Sharpen the kniiiiiiiiives!"

ANIMATION: Winter is my favorite season, and seeing it animated is no less enjoyable. The dogs are wonderfully drawn, and Snoopy's tranformation into a rabid beast is both reality-stretching and hilarious. Again, in a special so free of verbals, the expressions and actions take center stage. If they fail to entertain, the viewer won't hang around. The animators do a fantastic job in making Snoopy's nocturnal catacomb engaging. 10

VOICES: This is easy, there's only one (Bill Melendez' Snoopy, as always, excepted): Liam Martin as Charlie Brown. He gets a 7 in a limited role. "Hey! Hey! Hey!"

CAN YOU IMAGINE, LIKE, IF IT WAS LIKE LIGHT OUT FOR THE WHOLE DAY? LIKE WHEN YOU WOKE UP IT WAS LIGHT OUT AND WHEN YOU WENT TO SLEEP IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUT? LIKE CAN YOU IMAGINE HAVING A BARBECUE AT 2 AM BUT IT'S LIKE TOTALLY LIGHT OUT?

--I don't say or think "Bitch, please" anymore. Not since I saw this show again. I just get the same stance as Snoopy in the above capture. The ineffable cool of Snoopy could not be seized more perfectly.

--Would you eat even one onion and pepperoni pizza, much less five?


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You gotta love just grabbing whole pizzas and eating them. Who the hell just takes an entire pie by one hand and says, "Yeah, time to grub!" It's called "slice at a time", Snoop.

--The sequence with Snoopy in the saloon is the highlight of the show. From playing "The Washington Post March" on the PlayerPiano (does The Baltimore Sun have a march? More likely a rag) to the doomed poker game.




--One day, Jebus willing, we will see these scenes come to vivid life on a very special "Animals Fight Back" edition of America's Funniest Videos.





There are few things in the world I find funnier than animals going after kids. Seriously. Not to the point where the children are injured, but just knocking them down or dragging them across the backyard. They got it coming, trust me. Every time. Might teach them to respect our little furry friends.

BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I'D LIKE THAT DARK ALL THE TIME STUFF. LIKE YOU WAKE UP IT'S DARK AND YOU GO OUTSIDE IT'S LIKE ALWAYS DARK. LIKE WHEN MR. BURNS BLOCKED OUT THE SUN THEN HE GOT SHOT AND THE BABY DID IT, LIKE WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT. I MIGHT GO CRAZY IF IT WAS DARK ALL THE TIME.

--You think this part scared some kids?




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I know it's Snoopy, but...that's disgusting.


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This special was inevitable. Er? Yes, I believe so.

"Unfortunately, the balance of nature decrees that a super-abundance of dreams is paid for by a growing potential for nightmares"--Peter Ustinov

Snoopy is one of the greatest dreamers in history. His list of personas could fill a nice slab of memorial wall. There seems no world he is unwilling or unable to step into and immerse himself into completely, no role he can't play with swaggering relish. In that light, it can be assumed that this particular slice of hell was cut from a sizable pie.

Charlie Brown Snoopy Peanuts