Pop Will Eat Its Children, Pt. 9

10. "No Scrubs," TLC

1999
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: #1

I yearn for the unearthing of a cover version by Dolly Parton, Emmylou Harris and Linda Ronstadt. Hopefully with a banjo solo in place of Left Eye's rap.

Not all guys…just the scrubs. If you catch feelings, well, why ya got your hands out?

Keep it? YES

9. "Fuck and Run," Liz Phair

1993
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: Did not chart

Male music journalists loved them some Lizzie P. She contained multitudes. Her honesty, vulnerability and vulgarity, resulted in a debut album that remains virtually unassailable.
"Fuck and Run"'s duality sets it apart. Promiscuity is more fun than intimacy, ostensibly, but can you appreciate one without the other? Fucking and running at 17 is okay, but 12?

Keep it? NO

Cat Power, "Nude As the News"

1996
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: Did not chart

Arrowhead to the nape. Bare feet on drenched sand . I'll never be her, still I could be.

Nib to the tongue. Gloved hands on dried skin. I'll always be me.

8. "Common People," Pulp

1995
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: Did not chart

The 1990s were the decade for Brit musicians to befuddle me with their continued commercial and critical successes. A preoccupation with classism no doubt rocketed "Common People" up the home charts. Add some steel-reinforced sonic nostalgia, and there's your smash hit, fishbulb.

Jarvis Cocker's acerbic arrows are wasted in such anemic hands.

Keep it? NO

"In the Meantime," Spacehog

1996
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: #72

Glam-rock never dies, just takes extended naps. Anti-Kanamit audio books for good and all. The future ex-husband of Liv Tyler can play the bass like a meffer, incidentally.

7. "The Rain," Missy Elliott

1997
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: Did not chart

A breakout that made everyone stop to ask, "What are these hijinks?"

…

Impressionist hip-hop couldn't even fill a playlist created by the most studious Spotify user. Shame.

Keep it? YES

6. "Gold Soundz," Pavement

1994
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: Did not chart

If Pavement were the Monkees, Malkmus would be Nesmith. But wait, Pavement could never be the Monkees. "Cut Your Hair"? Micky would never.

Pavement were the go-to for listeners who demanded a highly-literate racket-gang, dreamboats weighed down by their distress signals and life jackets. Their high points--of which there were many--were simultaneously blinding and binding.

Keep it? YES