Pop Will Eat Its Children, Pt. 1

On the eighth day of the eighth month of the year 2010, Rolling Stone unveiled the "50 Best Songs of the Nineties," as per veteran scribe Rob Sheffield. I've long been an admirer of Sheffield's passion for music, his pride in being a fan, and finally, his writing. Which, as this list proves, works better as a whole rather than in pieces.

As with VH-1's Top 100 of the 80s, I'll be reviewing not only the original list of songs, but also, whenever necessary, songs I found more deserving of recognition. The pace remains five songs per entry, so let us go.

50. "Flashlight," Fuzzy

1994
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: Did not chart

The "buried indie rock gem" slot goes to Boston's Fuzzy, who released three albums on as many labels over six years--and until the RS list, I had not heard note one from. Pleasant enough, but I don't catch what distinguishes "Fuzzy" from the better tracks of, say, Superchunk.

Keep it? NO

"Be Like That, " Tsunami

1994
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: Did not chart

If the topic is forgotten classic albums of the decade, The Heart's Tremolo better come up, or I'm sticking my fist down somebody's throat. One of several hundred projects of DMV treasure Jenny Toomey, Tsunami's lack of legacy is as frustrating as the protagonist of "Be Like That." A calm drive that takes rest stops to allow for starbursts.

49. "Sometimes," Britney Spears

1999
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: #21

Rob's ear for massively popular songs of the era is quite erring. Britney's second single is more gummy than bubbly, another tale of a bashful gal keeping it real with her guy.

Keep it? NO

"Nothing Compares 2 U," Sinead O'Connor

1990
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: #1

Twenty-seven years and my throat's resistance is nil. Love is the best, till it's the worst. What's sadder than a bird struck silent?

48. "Self-Esteem," Offspring

1994
Peak Position: Did not chart

"Lithium" for skate punks. Intolerable after twenty seconds. Oh, by the way, I won the war.

Keep it? NO

"Gotta Get Away," Offspring

1995
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: Did not chart

This shit is full-bodied, powered along by some real pressure, not that "Ah man, this chick's so bad for me, but she's like too good for me too, dude I don't even know."

47. "Fotos y Recuerdos," Selena

1995
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: Did not chart

A Spanish-language rewrite of "Back on the Chain Gang." I'm serious.

Keep it? NO

"The Official Ironmen Rally Song," Guided By Voices

1999
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: Did not chart

Chipped paint and cracked pavement means cheap liquor and cheaper beer means Bob Pollard wrote three songs from the time you started reading this post. The working class need a hero, and it is them.

46. "Random Rules," Silver Jews

1998
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: Did not chart

Odds are decent you know someone (or know someone who knows someone) who swears that David Berman is the American Yeats. He's at least one of the few lyricists of the past fifty years whose work qualifies as "literary," all the better to prop up the generally unremarkable music underneath. "Random Rules" is a humble-brag of a last-ditch effort let down by its friends.

Keep it? NO

"Refuse/Resist," Sepultura

1993
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 Peak Position: Did not chart

I like my fight-in-the-name-of-love songs to sound closer to actual physical altercations. "Refuse/Resist" heralds Sepultura's transition from "Slayer Jr." to their own unique beast.