Keep your humanoid animals, your holograms, your cities of fire, your gratuitous partial nudity. I want an oceanic evening sky, four dangerous young men in white tees, a locomotive ridden by a red-eyed dog. I want a car. I want a racehorse. I do not want any understanding of scale or gravity.
The cover for Hit 'Em Where It Hurt conveys speed, danger, and ridiculousness. Criminal Elament sacrificed clarity and common sense to ensure we understand how helter is their skelter.
"Indadoe"--Wavin' all types of numbers. Considering this is their first album, of course Criminal Elament want to introduce themselves with a skit of a plane being landed in a thunderstorm. (I think.)
"Life Of a Youngsta"--I can tell the MCs apart; I just don't care that I can tell the MCs apart. Each of these young men is married to the same cadence, which ultimately does neither her nor them any greater good.
"Trippin' Out"--Begins with horse racing commentary…wow, the cover is actually connected to the music.
Houston rap group talking about hallucinations? If it ain't the Geto Boys, it better be the 5th Ward Boyz.
"Side Wayz To the Next Life"--As a general rule, authenticity is a laudable quality. Gangster rap prides itself on authenticity. The best of the genre combines lyrical and musical skill to create a riveting soundscape. Criminal Elament do not represent the best of the genre.
"Hit 'Em Where It Hurt"--The funk of Al Gore! The subtlety of John Leonetti!
"Family Stick Together"--Unless one of them quits their job in a fit of a temporary insanity. Doesn't matter how hard they try afterward to get their life back in order, if they don't follow a predetermined set of rules to prove their worth, that person will not receive significant familial support. You cannot be your true self around family members. They will judge you harsher, and more unfairly, than any stranger. The best of them will pretend to care. They will all forget their culpability when you die.
"Da Train"--All right, so the cover wasn't haphazard. Still sucks.
Seinfeld bass with Home Improvement snares. Everywhere hurts.
"It Goes On"--Tight, old-school vibe.
"Outdadoe"--Why, it's a fuckin' hoedown! It's a fuckin' hoedown, why?
Anticlimaxes remind me why I'm ardently pro-choice.
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