Some football stars lend their names and faces to clothing, cars, equipment, or charities. Washington Redskin Fred Smoot is all about his own "Smack energy bar". (Warning: clicking link will subject your ears to a horribly trite "clubbin'" hip hop beat that Lil Jon came up with by programming a drum and Korg pattern into his MPC then dropping it into the hot tub; it would behoove you to go to the bottom left and click "mute sound".)
Which is all very nice, as one cannot go wrong sponsoring food. Unless the food is made of dead children, which this Smack bar is almost certainly not. But when I found the picture above on the site I just...couldn't...help...it. A snicker escaped my throat and I wondered there and then if Mr. Smoot would ever escape "The Sex Boat."
Should he, though? I mean, in case you've forgotten the Minnesota Vikings mini-scandal of two years ago, reacclimate yourself with it. These guys performed consensual sex acts on a boat. While athletics from the professional level on down is scarred with incidents of severe sexual misconduct, Fred Smoot showed a selflessness that should have had some womens organization somewhere in America nominating him for Male Athlete of the Year, or whatever award they normally bestow upon a sports figure who misses a game because his wife is giving birth.
I really hate rooting for a Redskin, but it would be an abdication of my very gender to turn my back on Fred Smoot. He isn't tackling very well this year, isn't getting interceptions, and LaRon Landry is already looking worlds better in this his first season, but don't you ever forget...no one covers the field like Fred Smoot.
Fred Smoot NFL
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