The Top Favorite Best Greatest Blog of All-Time (Pt. 1: What's the Big Idea?)

 Lists. Huh. Good god, y’all.

Best, favorite, greatest. Three different words, three different meanings. Keen as the world’s become on calling a slingshot a pistol, “best” indicates “excellence,” “favorite” indicates “preference,” and “greatest” indicates “importance.” On lists of best guitarists, it makes sense Yngwie Malmsteen would rate consistently higher than J Mascis. On lists of favorite guitarists, you’re more likely to see Kurt Cobain than Jeff Beck. On lists of greatest guitarists, Jimi Hendrix is a given, but Steve Howe is not.

Recently, Apple Music stirred up a storm o’ shit via their 100 Best Albums of All-Time, released over a period of ten days to maximize social media impact. Said tempest comprised the customary kibbles ’n’ bits: outrage, cynicism, confusion, relief. The prominent issue with lists presented by cultural tastemakers—be they magazines, websites, sports leagues or the techno-monolith determined to fully automatize life on Earth before the dawn of the 22nd century—is the assumption of authority. Many an ego has trembled under either the blast of validation or the sting of repudiation felt upon perusing a curated list. What gives Apple the right? Where’s Rolling Stone get off? Who died and left Pitchfork their office?

It is human nature to resent authority on a macro level, while also craving it on a micro level. Hence the controversy aroused by any list which purports to present the “Best” or “Greatest” of anything. Making such lists requires supreme cognitive dissonance, since the stipulations of creation are concerned more with the narrative accepted by the world at large than one critic’s personal biases. The Beatles may not land a spot anywhere on your personal top 50 favorite albums, but failing to include even a single Fab Four record on any “Best of” or “Greatest Ever” list borders on childishness, instability, ignorance and good ol’ contrarian assholery.

And here, then, is where I stand in all four states. 

                                                                                ****

At first, I’d decided to tackle just the Apple list. Newest rawest and all. Give my opinions, determine exactly how out of touch I am. In talks with chums, though, other music lists came up—ones from Rolling Stone and Pitchfork specifically, those unserious critiques that nevertheless drive clicks off cliffs. (While those indeed dominate my attention here, I tackled a few more that defied resistance.) In short order, the project matured, and one multiplied to forty-four.

I’ll stop short of listing the fucking lists from best to worst; rather, I’ll be looking at the lists released by publication. Here's what you can expect.

Albums:
Rolling Stone 500 Greatest Albums of All-Time (2003, 2012, 2020, 2023) 

NME 500 Greatest Albums of All-Time (2013) 

Apple Music 100 Best Albums of All-Time (2024)

Rolling Stone 200 Greatest Hip Hop Albums of All-Time (2022)

Rolling Stone 100 Best Albums of the 1980s (1989)

Rolling Stone 100 Best Albums of the 1990s (2019)

Rolling Stone 100 Best Albums of the 2000s (2011)

Rolling Stone 100 Best Albums of the 2010s (2019)

Rolling Stone 100 Greatest Country Albums of All-Time (2022)

Rolling Stone 100 Greatest Metal Albums of All-Time (2017)

Pitchfork 200 Best Albums of the 1960s (2017)

Pitchfork 100 Best Albums of the 1970s (2004)

Pitchfork Top 100 Albums of the 1980s (2002)

Pitchfork 200 Best Albums of the 1980s (2018)

Pitchfork Top 100 Favorite Albums of the 1990s (1999)

Pitchfork 150 Best Albums of the 1990s (2003)

Pitchfork 150 Best Albums of the 1990s (2022)

Pitchfork 200 Best Albums of the 2000s (2009)

Pitchfork 210 Best Albums of the 2010s (2019)

NME 500 Greatest Albums of All-Time (2013)

Spin 25 Greatest Albums of All-Time (1989)

Spin 90 Greatest Albums of the 90s (1999)

Spin 100 Greatest Albums 1985-2005 (2005)

Spin 300 Best Albums of the Past 30 Years (2015)

Spin 101 Best Albums of the 2010s (2020)

Paste 300 Greatest Albums of All-Time (2024)

Songs:
Rolling Stone 500 Greatest Songs of All-Time (2004)

Rolling Stone 500 Greatest Songs of All-Time (2010)

Rolling Stone 500 Greatest Songs of All-Time (2021)

Rolling Stone 500 Greatest Songs of All-Time (2024)

NME 500 Greatest Songs of All-Time (2014)

Rolling Stone 50 Best Songs of the 1980s (2023)

Rolling Stone 50 Best Songs of the 1990s (2017)

Rolling Stone 100 Best Songs of the 2000s (2011)

Rolling Stone 100 Best Songs of the 2010s (2019)

Rolling Stone 100 Greatest Country Songs of All-Time (2024)

Rolling Stone 100 Greatest Hip Hop Songs of All-Time (2016)

Rolling Stone 100 Greatest Heavy Metal Songs of All-Time (2023)

Pitchfork 200 Best Songs of the 1960s (2006)

Pitchfork 200 Best Songs of the 1970s (2016)

Pitchfork 200 Best Songs of the 1980s (2015)

Pitchfork Top 200 Tracks of the 1990s (2010)

Pitchfork 250 Best Songs of the 1990s (2022)

Pitchfork Top 500 Tracks of the 2000s (2009)

Pitchfork 200 Best Songs of the 2010s (2019)

Please note, Paste’s list hit the scene the very same day I was preparing this post for publication. Because of fucking course Paste’s list hit the scene the very same day I was preparing this post for publication.