Better In Your Head?--THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP

 

Spoiler Alert: life is a battlefield.

THE BOOK-Written by John Irving, released 1978

THE MOVIE-Directed by George Roy Hill, written by Steve Tesich, released 1982

THE STORY-The world according to TS Garp is a world of omnipresent perversity. Mutilation, dismemberment, assassination, rape, dead children. In this world, consequences matter--explanations do not. 

MIND THE GAP-When not obsessing over his libido or stressing over his kids, Garp is tackling the classic writer's dilemma: pure imagination or impure memory, which lamp best lights the path? John Irving inserts selections of Garp's atrociously-titled prose, and in doing so not only proves the fallibility of the "show, don't tell" argument as it pertains to fiction, but also allows readers a glimpse of even more explicit, gratuitous tales written by a dude working through daddy issues.

Despite Irving's most strident efforts (incessant digressions, the implication that sexless=worthless) I wound up quite moved by the end. Characters not only survive a bombardment of shitballs, they evolve. Garp, especially, overcomes his self-destructive impulses and reassesses the channels through which he receives and bestows valuation.

Obsessing over a sex life not your own blows my mind. Are you? Who? When? Where? How frequently? Is it good? Is it your business, shithead?

Another book wasted on a circumspect American filmmaker. The cast does its best, so whenever the script does its worst (that fucking ending gahhhugughhhaahgua), legacies emerge unscathed. In a rare straight performance, Robin Williams shows why he's best remembered for his comedic roles. He's fine, but he doesn't come close to matching my vision of TS Garp. Too short, no beard. Mary Beth Hurt misses the mark even more aggressively. Again, the actress herself is competent, but movie Helen is a bookish pushover, softer all over than her book counterpart--barely a suitable Garp wife. 

Making her feature film debut, as Garp mom/feminist icon Jenny Fields, is the one the only the Glenn Close. Beloved butler-face John Lithgow earned an Oscar nomination for his portrayal of Roberta Muldoon, a transsexual former NFL star who becomes Garp's best friend. Lithgow not only plays the part with heart, soul and humor, he also looks passable in drag (a feat Robin Williams never pulled off).

There's lots to like 'bout Jenny Fields. Diligent nurse, supportive mother, loyal friend. Rapist, also. Huh, what? Indeed, Garp's mom became a feminist fave after the publication of a caustically candid autobiography wherein she confessed to rape. Desirous of a baby but not of a husband, Nurse Fields used a brain-damaged ball turret gunner as a sperm donor. A reprehensible act reframed and hung alongside other activist sketches, overlooked amid countless charitable gestures. Part of me couldn't help but feel Jenny deserved every bit of her premature end. 

Did Garp deserve his? He certainly deserved better than to entangle himself with "The Ellen Jamesians," a radical feminist group whose members excise their tongues in misguided solidarity with a young, similarly disfigured rape victim. They self-diagnose the emptiness between their ears and in the center of their chests, then self-medicate with misinformation, selective reasoning, and bottles of rage. Such unreasonables are best scorned in private, and shunned in public. Garp, among other functions, exists as an example of how failure to exercise restraint can result in tragedy.

Women should never report sexual assault. Is that too extreme? Okay, how's this: women should never report sexual assault with any expectation of justice. 

BETTER IN YOUR HEAD-The happy tone of the film throws me. For all the book's tedium, Irving's picaresque is superior for its bold scope, bizarre situations and brazen storytelling. Garp grows, from insufferable philanderer to empathetic father and friend who understands that not only is the dynamic between men and women changing, the dynamic must change. The film, though not bad, is de-wrinkled to its detriment. It serves best as a preview for the novel which despite its defects (three paragraphs of drivel re: condoms) is unforgettable.