Pablum Squared

SCREAMING LIFE/FOPP
5/11/90

At last, the two EPs. Sub Pop did me a solid by re-releasing them on a single disc. (Seriously, you thought I'd start a discography review with two EPs?)

"Hunted Down"--Come for the threats from an unspecified predator (the dogs don't count, since they may be metaphorical), stay for the noise solo.

"Entering"--Woo. They just kicked the metaphorical dog out of the house. Ol' "you're living in the yard full-time now"-ass song.

"Tears To Forget"--Balls-deep blitz with a Halfordian performance from Cornell. Forget the boys; beware the bubbles.

"Nothing To Say"--Not entirely true. Value is relative.

"Little Joe"--LJ will drink of the world, or it will eat him. Early Soundgarden weren't wary in the face of forceful funk, and Cornell's fervent quest to attain his final form rivets.

"Hand of God"--Y'all familiar with Hell Without Hell, AKA My Favorite Album Cover? If you aren't, click this link. If you are, click this link.

And so ends Screaming Life. (Which I'll be using for my epitaph, so don't bother.)

"Kingdom of Come"--You may not be hip to Kingdom Come, the most shameless Led Zeppelin rip-off non-artists to slide down the pipe. They operated under false pretenses foam 1987 to 2016, releasing thirteen albums, the first of which actually achieved platinum status, such was the public's appetite for an LZ reunion. They are a top ten worst thing foisted on the world by Germany, and that, motherfuckers, is a statement.

This song is disgusting as well, but in a much different way. Kim Thayil's solo makes me wanna go pyro on some H2O in the O-H-I-O.

"Swallow My Pride"--The first of two covers that wrap up the proceedings is an unremarkable take on a great Green River song. Several missing elements, most crucially Mark Arm's snotty delivery.

Grunge guys may have been good guys, but even good guys want blow jobs.

"Fopp"--The Ohio Players original is a salacious glory. Those horns! Goes without saying, Soundgarden's cover lacks the brass and thus, the balls. Why even bother? May as well eat room temperature peach pie. Might as well drop by In-N-Out and order a hamburger with lettuce. Might as well ask me to write a review where I don't mention food.

If your ideal sexual encounter involves a brick wall and a perfect stranger with cheap beer breath, you'll probably like this a lot.

"Fopp (Dub)"--No one requested the presence of this.



Sub Pop, please return to sender within fourteen business days.