Don't Make Me Bite Ya Face

Has it been a tremendous time recently for hip hop interviews or what? The genre's growing increasingly moribund, but less than a week after Chad "Pimp C" Butler defends the right to eat cake while advising against also taking a slice of pie, Nas has some words for Bill O'Reilly.

I thought that the O'Reilly/Nas thing was done with some time ago; Virginia Tech benefit concert is announced, Nas is slated as a performer alongside such offensively innocuous acts as Dave Matthews and John Mayer. Uh oh, though, Nas is a rapper who has lyrics in some songs dealing with guns. I mean, he had a song with a chorus that went, "I got mine, hope you got yourself a gun" and another track with a hook of, "They shootin'!/Aw, made you look".

It's situations like these that get Bill O'Reilly off. Guns? Recent controversy? Black man? Hip hop music? And down he swoops, like the culture vulture he is, spouting off obvious points very loudly. He brought up not only the above lyrics, but also Nas' prior arrest on gun charges. Additionally, he insisted on pronouncing the man's name as "Nazz" instead of the correct "Nahs".

At no point did O'Reilly refer to Nas' poignant, breathtaking "I Gave You Power" (a song wherein he raps from the viewpoint of a well-worn firearm). Nor did he recite with any great horror and disgust the lyrics to John Mayer's "Your Body is a Wonderland".

Bill vs. Hip Hop is a predictable battle; he took on Ludacris and coerced Pepsi to drop the rapper from an endorsement deal. Likewise, Snoop Dogg and his scheduled guest appearance on a Muppets Christmas program. But this particular shit-sling session is not going to established plan. First, Nas performed at the Sept. 6 concert without incident, and he has not sat back on his clear victory:

Whenever he wants a debate, I'll go through it. I know Bill O'Reilly's test scores. I know what he did, what he's trying to be ... I'm a psycho. I'm an American psycho. [Addressing O'Reilly:] "Come to Queensbridge, [record your show] out there. Come to Jamaica, Queens [New York]. Do a show in Red Hook [Brooklyn, New York]." ... I ain't got no time to talk to a uncivilized savage. This man will go through all kinds of extremes for publicity. I will tell him I'm an American psycho, I'm his worst nightmare. "They Shootin' " is just the beginning.

I don't downplay nothing, that's who I am. When he wants to come holla at me, be ready for Hannibal Lecter. He don't deserve an intelligent explanation. I'll bite his nose off! He wants to talk to me like a animal? I will be — but only to him. With everybody else I'll be a gentleman, including his wife. That's right — I'm crazy. That's how we should be to him. He isn't here to help us, and we don't need his help.

If Arnold Schwarzenegger comes to VA Tech, he's gonna come dressed like the Terminator? [O'Reilly] would never say that about Arnold Schwarzenegger. But he'll say that to me because he's ignorant.

I'm reeling between hilarity, thrill, and disapproval on this one. I think it's brilliant--and I mean Sinead-ripping-up-the-Pope brilliant--that Nas considers Bill O'Reilly a lovely side dish with fava beans. I agree with his "fuck those who want to fuck us" attitude; never has O'Reilly's program been a fair forum, and the people he squarely sets himself against should not treat him with the common human deference he seems devoid of giving others; but this whole "American Psycho" business is tossed-off bravado and promises a showdown that cannot possibly live up to its hype.

I bet Bill loves him some Huey Lewis and the News, though.

Nas Bill O'Reilly