The promo machine is chugging gloriously, as select 7-11's have been temporarily transformed into Kwik-e-Marts. Looking at the list of cities chosen for this embiggening honor is almost as funny as multiple rakes to the face.
The U.S. locations where a 7-Eleven store was transformed into a "Simpsons" Kwik-E-Mart are New York City; Chicago, Illinois; Dallas, Texas; Denver, Colorado; Burbank, California; Los Angeles, California; Henderson, Nevada; Orlando, Florida; Mountain View, California; Seattle, Washington; and Bladensburg, Maryland.Bladensburg? Henderson, NV?
It reminds me of an idea I had years ago, when my best friend and I went through the classic "wouldn't it be so cool if we had our own band" phase. We never so much as composed a single song, but I was so tickled by the idea that I conceived what I humbly consider the most amazing tour t-shirt of all time. It would feature our band's logo (whatever the hell that was) on the front, and tour dates on the back. A standard design. But the brilliance was to be in the details, with the concert dates as such:
6/1: San Francisco
6/2: Los Angeles
6/5: Seattle
6/7: Denver
6/9: Dallas
6/10: Houston
6/12: Chicago
6/13: Boston
6/14: New York City
6/15: Philadelphia
6/16: Washington DC
6/17: Hagerstown
"See", I explained to my pal, "we're hitting up all these huge cities, and then we just end the tour with Hagerstown. How absurd is that. It's awesome. And you could substitute Hagerstown, even, like with Thunder Bay, Ontario. Or, Loveland, Colorado."
"I still don't really get it though."
"Imagine hearing a radio ad for our tour! New York City! Washington DC! Hagerstown! It would be like, from a lion roar to a cricket chirp. People would be all, what in the hell?"
"Yeah, I'm kinda getting that feeling right now."
Simpsons Movie 7-11
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