I Don't Watch Blues Music, and I Don't Listen to "Grey's Anatomy"

Hagerstown residents were too fraught with ambivalent tension over this weekend's Western Maryland Blues Fest--the 2007 version of which featured two artists that I'd actually heard of; no, not exactly a huge fan of the genre--to provide a weeks worth of thrilling "You Said It" discourse in the Herald-Mail. But somehow, amid all the grumbling over the imminent further glut of downtown traffic and wistful yearning for some ambition and ingenuity of their own, natives of the land Little Heiskell watches over (as well as those in the surrounding subscribing areas) made the Tuesday and Wednesday editions decent reading.

First, Tuesday, 5/29.

"Congratulations to the South Hagerstown High alumni group who had a wonderful dinner for us Saturday evening at the old remodeled school gym. It was fantastic. Lou Scally was the DJ..."

Ok, stop. End transmission. Cease further correspondence. Lou freakin' Scally on the ones and twos? "Lyin' Lou", the man so ineffably cool that he had a goddamn alley named after him...this dude manned the turntables at a party? Talk about events that need to be put on YouTube. Especially if he played this song:



Wednesday, 5/30

"Bothered, bewildered, disillusioned, and very disappointed in the last episode of Grey's Anatomy last week on ABC. These writers better get their act together, or they're going to be losing a lot of good faithful listeners...."--BOONSBORO

Eh, that's why I don't listen to the TV as much as I use to; I find it much more personally satisfying to watch a good book.

"President Bush is the best president that this country has ever had, including Lincoln and Washington. Make no mistake about it."--ROHRERSVILLE



All right, that's it. I am taking your hat and you will not get it back until you stop being stupid.

"I do delivery around town, so I ride the streets of Hagerstown like all day long, and it's just amazing at how many adults you see out, hanging out and just walking around, doing nothing--or pushing 10 kids around. Does anybody work around here? No wonder our economy is so bad."--HAGERSTOWN

The economy would be in better shape if people got paid $8.50 an hour for plopping their morbidly, sadly obese selves on their front steps and having loud half-conversations with friends/family. If certain unwashed men got an extra $6.75 for every time they yelled almost-hilariously inappropriate comments to me as I walked to work downtown, it just might fill the emotional and moral void that threatens to suck them, and the women and children they routinely abuse and isolate, into existential oblivion. Oh, who am I kidding? It would just be used to purchase more Schlitz. (You know, if you're gonna destroy yourself with alcohol, at least pick a decent beer. The similarity between Schlitz and the word "shit" is too perfect to be a cute coincidence.)


Greys Anatomy Lou Scally Hagerstown