Charlie Brown's All Stars

So, we all know what happened Tuesday night. The world of Major League Baseball was rocked by a momentous milestone that divided fans and media nationwide into restless frothing packs milling around under clouds of controversy: the Washington Nationals defeated the San Francisco Giants to place DC's best in a tie with the Florida Marlins for fourth place in their division. That's right, the team uniformly picked on by experts to stink up the entirety of baseball with the most pungent loser-stink of all is in fact not even in the bottom 5 overall! Ryan Zimmerman for God, and Dimitri Young for Jesus Christ! (Water into beef, anyone?)

To celebrate, enjoy this review of the earliest--and best--Peanuts animated special devoted to derring-don't on the baseball diamond.



Mildly fun fact: with a debut air date of June 8, 1966, this was the second-ever Peanuts prime-time program, right on the hot heels of A Charlie Brown Christmas. However, it would prove to have none of that holiday standards staying power, having not been rerun on a network since 1972. I blame this, as I do 54% of all things, on the New York Yankees.

STORY: Poor Charlie Brown. He is the manager of a team coming off a season where they were outscored 3000-6 and added on to a losing streak of 999 games (to call them the "Prairie View of little league" is actually an insult to the Prairie View program). Enter Mr. Hennessy, neighborhood hardware store titan, who promises to sponsor this gaggle of never-weres in a league, complete with their own team uniforms. Just one catch: the girls and dog have to go. (And they have to give up drinking Cristal after school. You've never seen Pigpen so distraught.) Sick over the situation, manager Brown tells the team they can expect new duds and to play their hearts out. They end up losing (thanks to the zig-zag kid's completely missing home plate when he attempts to steal it) and then Charlie Brown breaks the bad news--he has refused Mr. Hennessy's offer. Without offering explanation, he stands back as his friends disown the team. Finally, Linus tells everyone why Charlie Brown turned down the uniforms, and the kids pay Charlie Brown a tribute greater than a win. 10

MUSIC: The very first scenes feature Chuck Biz valiantly chasing down a fly ball. As he traverses field and homestead to snatch the airborne orb, a nearly-bratty rat-a-tat drum can be heard.

Quick-paced, call-and-response trio work is heard throughout. Vince Guaraldi proves the magnificent jazz compositions of A Charlie Brown Christmas were no creative stumble-upon, with light-hearted, tasteful piano dallying with muted yet persistent horn and those jumping-bean skins. 10

ANIMATION: Sweetly drawn and colored, setting the viewer in a atmosphere of great comfort to appreciate the story and the words that help it along. 10

VOICES: Charlie Brown and Linus are voiced by the same children who brought them to heart wrenching life in the first special, Peter Robbins and Chris Shea. These two boys would set respective standards for the characters never to be matched since. They sound natural and thus engaging. 10's to both.

Sally Dryer, who had voiced Violet in the first special, was "promoted" to Lucy for this one. She is a good, dependable 8; snappy, not sassy, never elevating past the snarkiness and outright "bitchness" of her lines, but not really needing to.

Speaking of Violet, Karen Mendelson is OK, meriting a 7 on the scale. By contrast, Ann Altieri's Frieda distinguishes herself to an 8 with her hilariously anguished cry when the dust settles on a prone Charlie Brown, still 30 feet away from home plate.

Glenn Mendelson's Schroeder is a 7, while Kathy Steinberg is an unimpressive 5 for Sally. Give also half a ten to Geoffrey Ornstein's Pigpen, and a 7 to Lynn Vanderlip, voice of Patty.

Most surprising is Christopher DeFaria as Shermy. His 7 is well-earned, for even though he has only one line, it is a doozy and delivered with sad-boy perfection: "Charlie Brown, I think you get a neurotic pleasure out of losing all the time." They don't make children's shows like that anymore. Or if they do, network programmers immediately put the kibosh on them before production can commence.

THE INSPIRATIONAL PRESENCE OF LUCY VAN PELT, OUTFIELDER PAR EXCELLENCE

"We can't keep up all that ridiculous infield chatter, like, 'You can do it', because you can't do it, Charlie Brown."

"If he drops it, let's all kick him!"

HEY SNOOPY...YEAH...BE FUNNY FOR THE KIDS!




"Rickey Henderson was a great base stealer. But today...I am the greatest base stealer of all time."

Thanks, Snoopy. Y'always come through.

THE DREAMS OF YOUTH, CAPTURED. THEN DISSECTED BEFORE BEING UTTERLY DESTROYED. THEN SOMEHOW REASSEMBLED TO REPEAT THE TORTUOUS PROCESS. CHARLES SCHULZ REALLY HAD A LOVE/HATE THING WITH KIDS



This scene of a hopeful Charlie Brown, envisioning victory after having told not-the-whole-truth to get his peers (who would clearly rather be having fun) to slap on the caps 'n' gloves, is easy to overlook the first few times you watch, but speaks volumes about what gives this little kid real joy. There is simultaneous admiration for his ambition and knowing pity over his naivete.





Wherein Charlie Brown, shocked as anyone that he is on base, deliberates furiously over whether to steal third after having imperiously snatched second. Actual words spoken: "Here I go! Zoom! Here I go!", spoken by Peter Robbins as if he didn't believe the stupid blockhead would actually even make the attempt. Brings the funny every time.

The twist at the end is the honor the team bestows upon their fearful leader for sticking up for his right to field a pathetically untalented team of girls, dogs and boys way more occupied with composers and philosophers than learning the signal for laying down a bunt. From Linus' shaky hands, to a handy sewing machine (note while watching how the Peanuts bunch show once more a knack for crowding around something, moving their hands around super fast, and creating something incredible), to the lovable loser himself:



Heart, soul, laughs...this is an all-timer in the annals of Mendelson/Melendez/Schulz. 23 thumbs up! Makes me feel good about baseball, kinda like how everyone in Maryland says Cal Ripken's breaking Lou Gehrig's consecutive games streak made them feel. Except, you know, this special is an actual accomplishment.

Peanuts All Stars Charlie Brown