AIRDATE: 1/18/94
STORY: There are actually two stories here, with the A story involving a Pass and Punt competition that will net the winner a spot in the finals to be held at that years Super Bowl. The B story tells the unlikely saga of a team of birds coached by a beagle on their way to the AFL (Animal Football League) Championship.
Pretty much every Peanuts kid enters the comp, none more driven than Linus. While chucking the pigskin with best pal Charlie Brown, the insecure wunderkind catches a glimpse of some "new" girl in the neighborhood, shyly watching them, her red hair done up Princess Leia-style. Her name? Melody-Melody. Over sundaes, Linus tells her of the upcoming contest and really bigs himself up to "the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."
Linus' performance is spectacular, and he seems destined for a place at the worlds foremost scalpers convention when the final kid steps onto the field. Yep, it's Melody-Melody, who obliterates the other contenders for the win and breaks a young boys heart. This is supposed to be somewhat tragicomic, but I know that whenever I see or hear of a girl whose personal triumph also involves the thoughtless shattering of some fragile male ego, I smile inside. 9
MUSIC: David Benoit gets credit for composition and arrangement, but as the credits clearly state, the program consists of reimagined Guaraldi originals. As a tribute to the late great Dr. Funk, it's fantastic. As the soundtrack to a football show, it works very well, with blaring horns and relentless keys suggesting nothing less than the Big Game played in the Big Easy. 9
ANIMATION: It's a mid-90s special, meaning the overall look could stand to be a bit crisper around the edges and brighter in the middles. It suffices, but it could have thrived. 8
VOICES: I think it's lame that Franklin and Pig Pen are drawn but not voiced here. If they got treated any more ghetto, they'd be shown going into a Wings-n-Things.
The kids do good here, with no one falling flat. Jim Guardino and Crystal Kuns do average jobs as Charlie Brown and Melody-Melody, respectively, earning an 8 apiece. Linus as brought to life by John Graas is probably the most childish-sounding that character's ever been voiced, but his earnest yearning fits the storyline. 9
Another 9 for the play-by-play announcer heard over the AFL games, courtesy of Steve Stoliar. Yes, it's an actual coherent adult voice in Peanuts, and he sounds like Howard Cosell trying to sell discount mattresses.
The remaining three voice actors get 10's. Haley Peel and Nicole Fisher voice Peppermint Patty and Marcie and give on-head readings; those two characters bring out the best in whoever recites their lines. Haley Peel in particular gives good tussle in the fight against oncoming puberty. Probably the best overall is Molly Dunham's Lucy, one of the very few times that a kid can be said to have nailed this notoriously slippery young girl. Her voice sounds just like pretty purple frosting gleaming down the sides and curling around the edges of a yellow cake with white icing. The sweetest evil.
THE COMPETITION
Other than the twist ending, the most enjoyable part of the Punt-Pass competition was seeing the Peanuts kids all decked out in NFL gear.
I'm going to hold out hope that the team of Schulz-Melendez-Mendelson (or some combo thereof) did not appoint these unis haphazardly. Here Linus is wearing a Rams jersey while Charlie Brown is donning some modified 49ers gear (oh the irony). The Rams and Niners have had a topsy-turvy rivalry since the formers inception into the NFL as the Los Angeles Rams, and in this show, Linus and Charlie Brown are amicable combatants for the heart of Melody-Melody, who's watching from the sidelines.
Despite wearing the silver-and-black of the Raiders, Lucy still manages somehow to suck the worst of every competitor!
Well, I suppose I can let slide the lack of yak for Franklin when he gets the chance to represent Warren Moon. (Fanatic note: Per the announcer, Franklin's last name is "Armstrong". However, Charles Schulz never gave Franklin a last name, and these shows are not considered canon, so the correct answer to "What is Franklin's last name?" would be "None".)
There's no lascivious connection to be made between broncos and lesbians. Believe me, I Googled the shit out of it to make sure. Closest I found was this. Seeing Marcie in Redskins attire only makes me very sad. She is far too great a young lady, far too insightful, far too sensible, far too civil and decent, to wear the burgundy and gold. (Okay, now that I've said all that--congrats Art Monk, the only Redskin I've ever liked in the history of ever.)
Just like Franklin, Marcie is given a last name for this show ("Johnson") that has to be discarded in Peanuts lore.
Pigpen is drawn wearing a rejected Packers uniform design from the early 90s. Interesting.
As if trampling Linus' desire in the turf wasn't enough, Melody-Melody is catapulted to infinite heights of unsympathetic by walking out onto the field representing the Dallas Cowboys. Ugh. This is kinda killing my inner girl-power smile!
AND IN A STUNNER, THE NEW YORK GIANTS DEFEAT THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS!
--"You get a seal here! And a seal here!"
--Snoopy did a fantastic job coaching the Birds to the title. They ran through the Cats, the Dogs and the Bison, all while depending on a playbook drawn up strictly off the last minute of the Cal-Stanford game in '82.
(And you have to think the Dogs game was the most hard-won. Think about it, you're a dog, okay, and you're facing a team of birds coached by a dog. One of your own!)
--The bird squad is chock fulla some of the best names ever: Kowalski, Grabowski (Steve?), Unitas, Csonka, Van Buren, Buchanan. (But no mention of Woodstock.)
--"Don't fret it, Cat. There's a home for you on the Vikings secondary."
--For my money, this special has a top 3 "football trick" of all-time. Charlie Brown is ready to have the ball pulled from him yet again when Peppermint Patty runs, bringing news of the competition. Soon, a gaggle of young'uns are gathered 'round, and Chuck sees a golden opportunity.
Oh noooooooooooooooooooooo! Statue of Liberty in yo' face!
OH WHO AM I KIDDING? PATRIOTS BY 35
--Marcie calls it the "Splendid Bowl". Okay, maybe she was tailor-made for that Skins jersey, then.
--Simultaneously melancholy, pathetic and reeking of vengeance...Linus' lament at his loss.
"Charlie Brown, I was in love with that girl!"
------------------------------------------------------
Friday on ESPN is boxing night, which also means its the one day a week Bert Sugar is allowed on television. Bert Sugar is older than any documented deity in world history; he remembers when baseball was played professionally using egg cartons for bases, glued toothpicks for bats and severed cat heads for balls. There is nothing this man loves more than forcing the blood to circulate throughout his body by endless retellings of the time Charlie "No Flaps" Box led the Pittsburgh Potato Sacks past the St. Louis Organ Grinder Monkeys in the World Series.
This particular night he happened to be babbling about something occuring not only this century, but in the very same week: the Super Bowl. It seems that three out of eight times that there have been knockouts in the heavyweight division with the title changing hands the previous year, the NFC champ won. Four times when there were no knockouts in heavyweight title bouts with the title changing hands the previous year, the AFC division champion has won. I know I shouldn't put faith in this silliness, but jeez...Bert Sugar, y'all. Funniest thing he ever saw was Moses dropping tablets on Mt. Sinai.
I don't like making sports-related guarantees. Too much chance for epic egg on pale face. So lemme keep it no-brainer: You're In the Super Bowl, Charlie Brown will be a much better watch than this years Super Bowl.
EDIT: Okay..I was half-right. That was only the greatest Super Bowl ever played. And Charlie Brown had a starring role in the greatest Super Bowl commercial ever.
Super Bowl Charlie Brown Snoopy Peanuts NFL
I'm going to hold out hope that the team of Schulz-Melendez-Mendelson (or some combo thereof) did not appoint these unis haphazardly. Here Linus is wearing a Rams jersey while Charlie Brown is donning some modified 49ers gear (oh the irony). The Rams and Niners have had a topsy-turvy rivalry since the formers inception into the NFL as the Los Angeles Rams, and in this show, Linus and Charlie Brown are amicable combatants for the heart of Melody-Melody, who's watching from the sidelines.
Despite wearing the silver-and-black of the Raiders, Lucy still manages somehow to suck the worst of every competitor!
Well, I suppose I can let slide the lack of yak for Franklin when he gets the chance to represent Warren Moon. (Fanatic note: Per the announcer, Franklin's last name is "Armstrong". However, Charles Schulz never gave Franklin a last name, and these shows are not considered canon, so the correct answer to "What is Franklin's last name?" would be "None".)
There's no lascivious connection to be made between broncos and lesbians. Believe me, I Googled the shit out of it to make sure. Closest I found was this. Seeing Marcie in Redskins attire only makes me very sad. She is far too great a young lady, far too insightful, far too sensible, far too civil and decent, to wear the burgundy and gold. (Okay, now that I've said all that--congrats Art Monk, the only Redskin I've ever liked in the history of ever.)
Just like Franklin, Marcie is given a last name for this show ("Johnson") that has to be discarded in Peanuts lore.
Pigpen is drawn wearing a rejected Packers uniform design from the early 90s. Interesting.
As if trampling Linus' desire in the turf wasn't enough, Melody-Melody is catapulted to infinite heights of unsympathetic by walking out onto the field representing the Dallas Cowboys. Ugh. This is kinda killing my inner girl-power smile!
AND IN A STUNNER, THE NEW YORK GIANTS DEFEAT THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS!
--"You get a seal here! And a seal here!"--Snoopy did a fantastic job coaching the Birds to the title. They ran through the Cats, the Dogs and the Bison, all while depending on a playbook drawn up strictly off the last minute of the Cal-Stanford game in '82.
(And you have to think the Dogs game was the most hard-won. Think about it, you're a dog, okay, and you're facing a team of birds coached by a dog. One of your own!)
--The bird squad is chock fulla some of the best names ever: Kowalski, Grabowski (Steve?), Unitas, Csonka, Van Buren, Buchanan. (But no mention of Woodstock.)
--"Don't fret it, Cat. There's a home for you on the Vikings secondary."--For my money, this special has a top 3 "football trick" of all-time. Charlie Brown is ready to have the ball pulled from him yet again when Peppermint Patty runs, bringing news of the competition. Soon, a gaggle of young'uns are gathered 'round, and Chuck sees a golden opportunity.
Oh noooooooooooooooooooooo! Statue of Liberty in yo' face!
OH WHO AM I KIDDING? PATRIOTS BY 35
--Marcie calls it the "Splendid Bowl". Okay, maybe she was tailor-made for that Skins jersey, then.
--Simultaneously melancholy, pathetic and reeking of vengeance...Linus' lament at his loss.
"Charlie Brown, I was in love with that girl!"
------------------------------------------------------
Friday on ESPN is boxing night, which also means its the one day a week Bert Sugar is allowed on television. Bert Sugar is older than any documented deity in world history; he remembers when baseball was played professionally using egg cartons for bases, glued toothpicks for bats and severed cat heads for balls. There is nothing this man loves more than forcing the blood to circulate throughout his body by endless retellings of the time Charlie "No Flaps" Box led the Pittsburgh Potato Sacks past the St. Louis Organ Grinder Monkeys in the World Series.
This particular night he happened to be babbling about something occuring not only this century, but in the very same week: the Super Bowl. It seems that three out of eight times that there have been knockouts in the heavyweight division with the title changing hands the previous year, the NFC champ won. Four times when there were no knockouts in heavyweight title bouts with the title changing hands the previous year, the AFC division champion has won. I know I shouldn't put faith in this silliness, but jeez...Bert Sugar, y'all. Funniest thing he ever saw was Moses dropping tablets on Mt. Sinai.
I don't like making sports-related guarantees. Too much chance for epic egg on pale face. So lemme keep it no-brainer: You're In the Super Bowl, Charlie Brown will be a much better watch than this years Super Bowl.
EDIT: Okay..I was half-right. That was only the greatest Super Bowl ever played. And Charlie Brown had a starring role in the greatest Super Bowl commercial ever.
Super Bowl Charlie Brown Snoopy Peanuts NFL
i am crystal kuns or "melody melody"....thank you for your blog!
ReplyDeleteThank YOU for stopping by! :)
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