Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Keeping Up With the Bat-Shit Crazies
In 2008, Dave Mustaine appeared on The Alex Jones Show. That is a thing confused people do with their lives. Alex sent Dave a copy of his 2007 documentary Endgame: Blueprint For Global Enslavement. Did you know that the Bilderberg Group meets at various places worldwide to plot the extermination of 80% of the world's population and the enslavement of 20%? Did you realize there is no way we can stop this, and that being a fear-mongering, brow-beating, insult-hurling, hyper-speculative, argument-derailing modern-day Paul Revere is the only sane response?
Dave Mustaine--vocals, guitar
"Dialectic Chaos"--I can't believe I had to type that blustery malcontent's name multiple times on this blog. I need to hop in a dumpster and crawl around in hopes of cheering myself up, now.
Aliens came in ambivalence, aware of mankind's cynicism. Forth and back ensues.
"This Day We Fight!"--Two straight albums where the second song ends in an exclamation point. In this case, I feel the punctuation is justified. The solos in particular sound like a requiem for that crazy muh'fuh who thought he could suplex a moving train.
Imagine Mustaine wearing medieval body armor. Armor that would crush his bones if he wore it for longer than three minutes. If you can suspend disbelief for the sake of this song, you may enjoy yourself.
"44 Minutes"--A rote rundown of surreal life events. I didn't cotton to this angle when Sepultura tried it for "Manifest" on Chaos A.D. sixteen years prior to this, and that was Sepultura at the height of their powers, so you can guess what I make of 2009 Megadeth.
The specific event is the 1997 North Hollywood Bank of America robbery. Two heavily-armed (and armored) young men entered the establishment, snatched some cash, and exited blasting. No hostages, no demands, just bullets; ultimately, over 1,100 rounds were ejected from their illegally-modified automatic rifles as the police fired back with an arsenal so relatively puny that some of the cops had to appropriate AR-15 assault rifles from a nearby arms dealer just to level the odds somewhat.
If Dave's point is that the inadequate police weaponry exposed how the government does not value its law enforcement, thus creating an environment for criminals and criminal activities to flourish while the peacekeepers flounder, thus endangering more lives, well, that point was made at the time, a dozen years ago. The Department of Defense supplied the LAPD with surplus M-16s and state legislators passed a law permitting officers of the law to purchase assault weapons.
Finally, the only fatalities on that day where the two bank robbers. So…what was the point of "44 Minutes"? What ultimate point was Mustaine trying to make?
"1,320'"--Some guys, they just wanna fuck their cars. Stick it right in the fill spout and power that bitch up.
"Bite the Hand"--A welcome return to Megadeth's copter-blade days, when they were young and ready to tilt the world. "When it's dog eat dog, you are what you eat." In that case, Dave, lay off the Shi Tzus.
"Bodies"--"One day you're here/And then you're gone." A goal of any writer who loves their craft is to confront the cliches--because you cannot avoid them--and cast them in a brighter linguistic light. Sonically, "Bodies" is a stale Snickers bar some nut-bars homeless person kicked free from a Port Authority vending machine.
"Endgame"--Smell that? That is Tea Party paranoia. You can be forgiven for assuming it was rotten guacamole.
I would never be so naive as to claim the government would never ever devise a plan to imprison citizenry en masse. I would never be so naive as to believe a well-armed citizenry would have any real chance of thwarting a determined government. Unless they make armored tanks affordable to the average person, and adjust garages and parking spaces accordingly, we will be screwed. If the sociopath's utopia is imminent, if we were born to be screwed in the New World Orgy, why are the likes of Alex Jones making movies and airing podcasts complaining about how much it hurts?
"The Hardest Part of Letting Go…Sealed With a Kiss"--Whatever happened to the common slash?
"If you love someone you have to let it go." If "it" is referring to the tension-fraught situation you and your paramour find yourselves in--that is a correct sentence. I feel bad for Dave at this point, as he seems to be a person who takes Alex Jones seriously, so I'll assume that is what he meant.
"Head Crusher"--Medieval torture is not only a topic I'd rather hear Megadeth sing about than political paranoia, it's something I'd rather endure. Dunk me, stretch me, anyway you want me, as long as you kill me, it's all right.
"How the Story Ends"--Thank you, band. Thank you for waiting until the end to sound interesting. Guess that kinda fits in with the album title, though. Oh HA HA. Expertly navigating hoary trails and ascending peaks marked with threadbare flags, yeah, well done. (That's how I used to order my steaks until the Hibachi chef made fun of me.)
"The Right To Go Insane"--This is boring. I am bored. Is this edgy? Are Megadeth on the edge? Could someone push them off, please?